To Look Upon a Rose
by xPockyNoMikox
Summary: Karasu's returned to kill Kurama, and it's a race against time for Hiei to save him. But, there's a twist: the one Karasu possesses this time... is Kurama himself. HxK
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Sad, but true…

A/N: Thank all of you who have been **patiently** waiting for this to be posted! And thank those of you who read and review my fic To Sow the Seeds of a Nightmare, which is the prequel to this story. For those of you who haven't, **_go read it_**! You can read this one without reading the other, though, for those of you too lazy to read it…

**To Look Upon a Rose**

__

- Kurama's pov -

Spider-like fingers glide through my hair, and a shudder runs down my spine. My body freezes, remaining unresponsive as I struggle to escape the feather-light touch. But, as always, I remain immobile, unable to even cry out. Each time is the same; I seem doomed to relive this moment until I die, never able to run. The fear coursing through me draws a small gasp from my lips, and the familiar haze of shame settles over my mind as I stand helpless. Why is it that I, Youko Kurama, am powerless in the hands of the icy-eyed ghost that haunts my dreams each night?

"You're afraid of me," he murmurs, amused at my helplessness. "Of what my touch can bring."

Lifting my head in an attempt at haughtiness, I sneered over my shoulder at the youkai. "What reason do I have to be afraid of you?" I ask, hearing my voice tremble slightly. "I've killed you once before. Who is to say that I cannot do it again?" My mind screams a warning; this was not the way the dream was supposed to unfold…

Karasu laughs softly, and I shiver, my fears growing. Something is wrong – Karasu is always alive in my dreams, repeating the threat that, in reality, I'd manage to escape. But now… Now, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread, as if this was no dream…

The curtain of my hair ripples and falls back down around my shoulders as Karasu releases it to run his fingers down my arms, the feather-light touch burning like so many flames. He leans in close, pressing his lips against my neck, and I feel him smile. "You can't kill me," he whispers alluringly, "Because I'm already dead."

I woke up gasping, my hands instinctively moving up to cover my neck. The muscles beneath them rippled as I swallowed, attempting to clear the lump of fear from my throat. My fingers trailed lower, frantically searching out any signs that another's hands had touched me but finding nothing. They moved lower and met with something cold, and I froze, terrified.

I released a shuddering breath as my fingers closed around the hiruseki necklace that rested against the base of my neck, feeling a trickle of embarrassment flush my cheeks. Such nightmares had plagued me often since my battle with Karasu over two years ago, and every one terrified me. Each was the same save this one, and in each one I was paralyzed with fear, fear that usually changed to humiliation and revulsion when I awoke. Worse were the times when Hiei was here during his time away from Mukuro, or when I screamed and woke Shiori. At least Hiei understood the reasons for my fear; my family did not. Either way, my youko pride cringed in shame each time.

But still, I was grateful for the comfort their presence brought. Alone, as I was now, I was afraid.

The nightmares had been coming more often now, and they were no longer mere recollections of the battle. Never before had Karasu been aware of his death. I had taken some small consolation in the fact that the nightmares were all the same; that way I knew they were simply dreams. But now, that consolation was gone.

The reassuring weight of my necklace in my hand, I lay back down and closed my eyes, though I was certain I wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. My heartbeat gradually slowed, however, and my breathing returned to normal. The dream receded, fading into the shadowy recess I'd banished all the others to, and I eventually fell into a fitful yet dreamless sleep, wishing Hiei was beside me.

x

__

- Shiori's pov -

"Shuuichi, are you alright?"

A flash of gold swirled through emerald eyes, giving them a feral, almost animalistic look as they stared out the open window at some distant memory. My hand froze in midair, but I dismissed it as a trick of the light and laid my hand on my son's shoulder, gently, to draw him back to reality.

Shuuichi started at my touch, blinking wildly and bringing one hand up to curl protectively around his neck. "Kaasan," he breathed finally, blinking up at me with something akin to relief.

"I'm sorry," I said softly as I sat next to him on the couch. "I didn't mean to startle you." Folding my hands in my lap, I regarded him silently for a moment as he gazed back at me, a frown creasing his forehead. Silky crimson hair had faded to a dull red while wide green eyes had become shadowed and sunken; his features were pale in the harsh sunlight, though he hid it well behind his mask of calm. "Are you alright?" I repeated.

"Yes," he replied instantly, forcing a slight smile onto his face. "I just… haven't been sleeping well." I waited a moment for him to elaborate, but he merely smiled faintly and returned his gaze to the window.

I did not press him further, for I was already aware of Shuuichi's sleepless nights. More often than not, I lay awake in the security of my husband's arms listening to his muffled cries, wishing I could go to him and hold him close. But my arms were never enough; it seemed I had long ago lost my power to banish his nightmares and dry his tears, though he rarely allowed me to see them. After seventeen years of laughter and heartache, I knew my son well enough than to try to mother him anymore. Shuuichi hated to lose control of his emotions, and to do so in my presence would only add to his shame. Though I hated to let him suffer alone, I knew I could do nothing for him.

Stifling a sigh, I followed his gaze out over the garden, Shuuichi's garden. He'd long since taken over its care, and I had gladly handed it over to him. It was the only place I ever saw him truly happy, other than in the presence of Hiei. But, I hadn't seen the silent boy in quite some time, though I suspected this was the time Shuuichi needed him the most.

"You've been neglecting your garden lately," I murmured. "Look, the weeds have almost taken over. Your rose bush is wilting."

Shuuichi straightened at that, his eyes losing their far away look as he frowned at the flowers outside. The weeds seemed to wither under his stare while the roses regained some of their luster. He sat back, his frown replaced with a small, complacent smile.

"It will take more than a glare to restore the garden," I said playfully. "Though you did manage to scare some of the weeds away." Shuuichi laughed at that, and some of the darkness seemed to vanish from his eyes. He leaned over to kiss my cheek before rising, a smile still lingering on his face. "Don't forget, Kazuya's birthday is tomorrow. We're going out to dinner, so don't stay too late at school."

His brows furrowed for a moment, and I thought he would object. But he nodded – reluctantly, it seemed – and forced another smile. "I won't," he promised before turning and walking out of the room.

I was tempted to stop and question him. I knew my son was reserved and private by nature, but that didn't stop me from worrying. He was burdened by secrets – too many secrets – that glinted like shadows in his eyes, secrets that haunted his dreams and turned his laughter into tears. I did not press him though, for I sensed they went deeper than even I could imagine. I would be patient, and when he chose to confide in me, I would be there to listen. Until then, I would keep watch over him in silence.

x

A/N: Phew! You don't know how many times I had to revise this chapter to get it presentable, and I'm still not totally satisfied with it. Not the best way to start a fic, ne?

Anyway. The next chapter may not be out until late May, because I have AP exams coming up and I need to study. It's not easy memorizing all the tariffs and taxes in the US from 1607 up until 1980. Yeah. Just a warning: never take AP US History in high school.

Try to guess where the plot's going. Those reviews are always fun to read. It will give me something interesting to do while I study. u Arigato, minna-san!


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

A/N: Yay, chapter two! Sorry it took sooo long to get out. I've had AP tests to study for, and then I took a well-deserved break. The next chapter should be out relatively soon, probably around the beginning of June.

-

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 2**

__

- Kurama's pov -

I closed my eyes, slowing my pace to a lazy walk and letting the cool breeze blow through my hair. The smell of grass and rain filled the air; no others were around to ruin the lazy tranquility of the afternoon. It was days like this, so full of life and spring, that made it difficult to defy the allure of my former life. It was days like this that Youko Kurama loved.

It was all I could do to resist the urge to transform and simply _run_. Images of my former life flashed behind my closed eyes: the rustle of leaves as I dashed through the brush, the feel of the forest floor beneath my bare skin, the taste of a fresh rain in the lush Makai. It was days like this that made me wonder why I'd chosen this crowded, polluted world over the freedom of my homeland, and even the image of my mother's face wasn't enough to fully subdue those thoughts.

Glancing back at my school and then toward our house somewhat guiltily, I turned and began making my way toward the park. Though I had promised to be home in time for my stepfather's birthday dinner, I didn't need to return right away; Tousan wouldn't be home for several hours yet. I could spend a few minutes in the park without being missed.

My spirit seemed to lighten even as I entered the park, my youki instinctively dispersing into every plant within its confines. Sensing neither unfamiliar ki nor even any human reiki, I relaxed and closed my eyes again. The tensions of the day slowly drained away as I drew energy from the plants, and the urge to transform abated slightly. I managed a small smile.

I walked slowly down the path, enjoying the feel of the wind and sun and wishing Hiei were here beside me. Mukuro had been attending a series of political conferences, and as her heir, Hiei had been required to accompany her. I hadn't seen him in almost a month, and I was looking forward to seeing him tonight. I wanted to hear him laugh at my foolish fear of my nightmares if only to reassure myself that that's what they were – mere nightmares.

The breeze that had danced lazily around me suddenly grew cold, as if touched by some icy presence. I shivered a little, sensing another's youki rise languidly out of the wind, but it was too faint for me to identify it. The tenuous peace I'd found evaporated instantly as a frigid touch trailed lightly up my spine. I spun around before the insubstantial fingers could reach my neck and gathered my youki in preparation for an attack.

The pathway behind me was deserted.

I continued walking cautiously, dismissing it as phantoms born of too little sleep and too many nightmares. Besides, it was daylight; the nightmares couldn't harry me until the sun went down.

The icy wind swirled around me, its haunting laughter both taunting and seductive. I felt its frigid fingers reach for me again and froze, unable to run or even cry out. _Not again!_ I thought despairingly, my breath coming in short, ragged gasps.I struggled wildly against the presence encircling me, ensnaring me, but all I earned for my effort was another breathy laugh.

Fear coursed through me as the ghost-like force pressed in on my mind, slowly – deliberately – trapping me in my own body. I could neither fight nor flee; my youki was bound as well. I was helpless… and afraid.

A dark figure dropped out of a nearby tree, and instantly the pressure vanished. I gasped in a breath and stepped backwards, shivering uncontrollably. The icy wind was gone.

"Kurama."

I blinked, realizing the voice was not the breathy whisper of the eerie wind but Hiei's. The fire demon frowned as he gazed up at me, ruby eyes narrowed, and crossed his arms.

"What are you doing?"

I scrambled for an answer, a flush of embarrassment replacing my fear. How stupid I must have looked, the notorious Youko Kurama, battling the wind. "Nothing," I managed finally. "You just startled me. I felt someone following me, and I was unable to sense your youki."

"That's because I was concealing it," he replied calmly, suspicion lingering in his eyes.

I closed the distance between us and leaned down to kiss him before he could question me further, still shaking slightly. I didn't want Hiei to see my fear; he ridiculed my ningen behavior enough without knowing that I was jumping at shadows.

Hiei leaned up into the kiss and I sighed, feeling his heart beat under my hand. With Hiei's presence so solid and reassuring beside me, my fears began to look childish. I silently chided myself for allowing my nightmares to take such a great hold over me. Maybe Hiei was right, and I was becoming too human…

"I've missed you," I breathed when we finally parted, panting slightly. Hiei's only response was a small, feral smile as he turned toward my house.

Perhaps it was Hiei I had sensed, his youki indistinguishable beneath his concealments, and the entire episode was nothing more than a product of my imagination. I hadn't been sleeping well lately, and combined with my restlessness, I had been too distracted to pay full attention to my surroundings. My nightmares had done the rest. Yes, that was it.

As we began the walk home, I slipped my hand in Hiei's smaller, callused one and held it tight against the chill that still lingered inside of me.

-

__

- Koenma's pov -

"Koenma-sama, I have an update on the escaped prisoners!"

I opened one eye as George entered the office, waving a pack of papers in his hand. The oni deposited them on my desk, beside the stack that had lain there untouched since this morning, and pointed to a list at the bottom of the first page. Rubbing my temples, I opened the other eye and sat up. "Go ahead."

"The explosion damaged a significant part of the cell block, allowing nearly all of the prisoners there – those who weren't injured – to escape," George said, flipping through the stack of papers. "Of the thirty-seven that did," he paused to tug another sheet of paper from the pile, "these twenty-nine have been recaptured." He pointed to a list of serial numbers and frowned. "These eight remain missing."

Sighing, I glanced over the numbers, though they meant nothing to me. The explosion had occurred two days ago, and even my most skilled trackers had not been able to find the missing escapees. With the gateways out of the Reikai already sealed and guarded, there was little more I could do; calling in the reikai tantei was pointless, for the prisoners were spirits, unaffected by any corporeal weapons.

"…Unfortunately," George was saying, "the explosion occurred in the high-security block of the prison, which means that the prisoners were high-class youkai…"

"I know that," I snapped. "They won't be able to do much damage here in the Reikai, though, with no living beings to terrorize. Any reports on the cause of the explosion?"

George fidgeted under my gaze, staring pointedly at the floor. "The, ah, the investigation points to a bomb – a youki bomb. Planted by one of the prisoners."

"Impossible," I said, flicking my fingers dismissively. "There are wards on all the cells; no youkai could acquire that much energy within the prison. It must have been smuggled in somehow."

George sputtered, holding up a hand in protest. "But Koenma-sama, all the evidence points toward-"

"Are you implying that my security system is not adequate?"

"Of course not," George replied quickly. "It's just that-"

I closed my eyes and pointed toward the door, effectively cutting off his objection. Today hadn't been going well, and I was in no mood to hear the oni's constant prattle. "Never mind. Continue with the investigation and inform me of any progress."

"But Koenma-sama!"

"And give me a list of the names of those who haven't been recaptured. Now, ogre." The oni grumbled something unintelligible before plodding out of the office, the papers held loosely in his hands. The door slammed closed behind him, and I slumped back in my seat, groaning again. My father was not going to be pleased with this month's report.

-

A/N: Thanks to all of you who have patiently waited for this chapter. And thanks for reviewing! I promise the next chapter won't take as long!


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 3**

__

-Hiei's pov-

The futon shifted under me, and warm hands snaked around my waist as Kurama's soft lips pressed against my cheek. "Don't be angry, koi," he murmured as he settled down behind me, nipping playfully at my shoulder in attempt to lighten my mood. "I won't be that long." His voice lowered, and I felt him smile against my shoulder. "We'll still have all night…"

I shrugged him off, growling. After weeks of incessant training under Mukuro, I was in no mood to take second place to Kurama's inane ningen routine, especially tonight, when he had called me here himself. "Hn," I said. "Another empty promise."

Kurama's arms loosened around me momentarily before tightening again. "Please, Hiei, wait for me. We won't be more than a few hours, and this means so much to my mother. It's her husband's fiftieth birthday."

"You were the one who told me to come in the first place."

His breath sighed over my skin, warm and soft and almost enough to drive away my irritation. Almost. "I'm sorry, koi," he murmured, something sad and desolate tightening his voice. "I forgot."

_I forgot._ About me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd always known that Kurama's ningen family came before me. Part of me had accepted it, and at first even expected it. I'd been used to being passed over and spurned, cast out and hated. And yet, despite all my efforts to prevent it, Kurama had changed that. Youko though he was, Kurama's promise of love and loyalty had never been broken.

Except when he had to choose between his family and me.

I'd ignored it at first, thinking it inevitable. But, I had slowly begun to care for the kitsune in return, and then it started to matter. Knowing that the one you loved would never hold you closest to his heart… hurt. I'd long ago stopped trying to deny that fact.

"You forgot," I sneered, clenching my fists in anger. I'd expected too much, raised my hopes too high, and now I was paying the price. I had no one to blame but myself.

"Hiei," he sighed behind me, "I have to go. I-"

"Why?" I growled, turning to face him. "You never followed anyone else's orders before. Why do you insist on following them now?"

Weariness clouded his somber green eyes as he leaned back against the wall, sighing. "Please, don't. We've been through this too many times already. I don't want to argue tonight, Hiei." His eyes met mine, begging me to listen. A darkness glittered somewhere in their depths, a shadow so dark even his mask of calm could not fully conceal it. I sat hypnotized by it for a moment before shaking my head and glaring up at him.

He sighed again, this time in frustration, and that damned mask began to drop again, just barely hiding the hurt I saw in his eyes. "Hiei, I've already apologized. But I can't ignore the responsibilities I have if I want to continue my life here. You know I'd love to stay with you, but I cannot renege on this promise."

_What about the promise you made to me?_ I thought. _Does that mean so little to you?_ "You'd love to," I said instead. "If you truly wanted, you would have left this world long ago. Nothing chains Youko Kurama except his own free will. Isn't that what you told me?"

He opened his mouth to object, then closed it, obviously struggling to keep his emotions in check. "I don't want to leave this world, Hiei," he said finally, his voice as near to pleading as I'd ever heard it. "You don't know how difficult it is to be trapped in the middle like this, both sides of my soul wanting a different world." Fists balled, he closed his eyes and swallowed. "Until you do, you won't understand."

"I know what it's like to be of two different worlds," I replied bitterly. "I'm a half-breed, remember?"

"That's completely different!" he cried as he shook his head, the last remnants of his stoic mask gone. Anger and frustration and something darker glinted in his gaze. I blinked. I'd never seen Kurama this… raw. He'd always kept a tight reign on his emotions, even around me. It was disconcerting to see him bare himself this way.

"You don't have the burden of choosing between your two heritages," he said, his voice cold. "Your choice was made for you. It was easy."

I straightened at his words, an icy torrent of rage washing through me, freezing me. "Easy?" Pain lanced up my arm; I'd clenched my fist hard enough to draw blood. I forced my fingers to uncurl and glanced at the four bloody crescents on my palm.

I couldn't remember a time when Kurama had been so careless with his words, which I'd found could be his greatest weapon. A weapon he'd never turned on me – until now. Something was different in him, something that evoked an anger in me I'd never associated with Kurama. I couldn't stop the rage racing through me. I wouldn't be tossed aside again. Let him chose the Ningenkai over me, but I would be the one to walk away this time. "If you think being thrown off an island and cursed by your own people is easy," I said slowly, "then the youko must be a barbarous race, for you to dismiss such as easy." I rose from my place on the bed and walked to the window, taking the time for one last look back, half of me hoping that I'd see him smile and reassure me that he hadn't meant what he said. But he only stared back at me, a frown creasing his brow.

Burying the pain that had my heart pounding, I pulled open the window. "Too barbarous even for a half-breed like me."

An eerie violet flashed beneath the green as Kurama's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Is that how you solve your problems, _Forbidden Child?_ By running away?" he asked quietly.

Tauntingly.

Anger flared within me again, this time white-hot enough to rouse the energy that lay dormant in my right arm, though I knew that, no matter what, I could never loose it on Kurama. I met his eyes again, nearly losing myself in the swirling mass of icy blues and greens and golds, and shook my head before ducking through the window out into the night.

x

A/N: Wow, I got a chapter out early! For those of you who are following this story (thanks so much!) there should be about eight more chapters. The next chapter should be out in a week. I'm debating whether or not to add an epilogue or not, which would have Kurama explaining his past to Shiori. It wouldn't affect the plot of the story, but I've been toying with that idea for a while, and I think it would fit really well with the ending of this story. What do you think?

Oh, and if anyone knows Kazuya's actual age, please tell me! I haven't seen past the Sensui episodes, so I'm not really familiar with him. Fifty is an approximate age, because Shiori was forty in the Sensui arc, and this is about two years after that. But don't quote me on it!


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: Yu Yu Hakusho belongs Yoshiri Togashi, Fuji TV, Pierrot, etc.…

A/N: Sorry I was late this time! (It was only a few days…) My computer crashed and I haven't been able to access the Internet... I promise the next chapter will be out soon! Give me about two weeks, since I have finals all next week and won't be able to get much done. Thanks for staying with me this long!

__

-

****

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 4**

__

- Kurama's pov -

Hushed voices drifted around me, encasing me in a comforting blanket of familiarity. Families talked among themselves while waiters drifted among the tables like black-clad ghosts, carrying and clearing away plates and cups in near silence. A stick of incense burned on the table across from us; the smell was heavy, but I was thankful for it. It dropped another layer of the curtain around me, driving my unease further away. No nightmares could reach me here, wrapped in a cocoon of banality and normalcy.

I blinked and looked up as my mother called my name, gesturing toward my nearly untouched plate of tonkatsu. "What's the matter, Shuuichi? You've barely eaten a thing."

"Nothing's the matter," I replied instantly, shifting slightly on the cushion. "I'm just not very hungry."

Shuuichi leaned over, grinning impishly, and picked at my food. "I'll take it if you don't want it…" I shrugged, and his grin widened as he scooped half of the tonkatsu off my plate with his chopsticks.

"Oh, by the way…" my stepfather began, glaring pointedly at me for drawing the attention away from him. My mother and stepbrother turned back to him, and I was left to my thoughts once more.

I glanced own at my hands clenched tightly in my lap, then brought one up to brush the smooth surface of the hiruseki stone that hung around my neck. I shuddered as my fingertips touched the cold stone; strange that, despite being a fire demon, Hiei's tears remained eternally icy.

Tucking the necklace under my shirt, I closed my eyes as a wave of guilt and fear swept over me. How could I have said such things to Hiei? I wasn't thinking straight, I'd been too upset… Yet no excuse was enough to justify my words.

_"Is that how you solve your problems, _Forbidden Child?_ By running away?"_

What scared me – terrified me – was that those words had left my mouth of their own accord; I had not been able to hold them back. I had been frozen, unable to resist as my mouth loosed invective at the one I held closest to my heart. As if… as if someone else was speaking through me.

I shivered again and forced those thoughts from my mind, wrapping myself in the cloak of security the familiar lights and sounds created, knowing that soon, I'd have to face the darkness again.

-

__

- Koenma's pov -

Things just kept getting better.

George still had not returned with the list of names – not that I didn't have enough to keep me occupied – and Ayame hadn't returned either after I'd sent her to find him. Moreover, four of my ferry girls had stormed in, one even sporting a nasty gash across her arm, to complain about a group of escapees who were skulking around the Reikai, terrorizing them as they brought in new arrivals. So far, only two had been apprehended; six still lurked somewhere outside the palace walls.

And, to top it all, my father had requested a special report on my progress.

I dropped my head in my hands and moaned. "Why me? Why can't things ever just go right for once?" I groaned again.

"Koenma-sama?"

I looked up as Ayame entered, sighing as she eased the door closed behind her. Of all my assistants, she alone managed to never irritate me, no matter how miserable a mood I was in. Even Botan couldn't claim that feat – she was irritating on even the best of days. Rumors had always been in abundance about Botan and me, but truth be told, if I _were _to get involved with one of my employees, it would be with Ayame. Not that Botan hadn't hinted several times… "Yes, Ayame?" I said wearily.

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she handed me a single piece of paper. "These are the names of the prisoners who have not yet been apprehended, not including the two just captured. Full background reports have been compiled, should you wish to see them. The apprehended criminals have been temporarily placed in the restraining rooms in E block, which has been reinforced with extra wards. Captain Takeo requests your permission to assemble special teams to escort the ferry girls to the palace… Koenma-sama, are you alright?"

Exhaustion and a feeling of inundation overtook me; I didn't want the responsibility of it all anymore. I'd jumped at the chance to oversee the Reikai when my father had decided to take a less active role in ruling the worlds, not knowing – and not caring – how much effort and time that role required. How stupid I had been. "I'm fine, Ayame. Tell Takeo he may have two men per ferry girl. And tell him to step up the search. I want those prisoners back by midnight tomorrow."

The dark-haired girl nodded. "Yes, sir." She made a half-bow before turning and walking silently from the office. The door thudded softly behind her.

I glanced down at the list of names. Tsukino Ichi, A-class, convicted of murdering seven human women after abducting them. Muryama Sayuri, lower S-class, convicted of torturing and murdering her two children. Miakami Ryuen, B-class… _Wait, why is there a B-class on this list? I thought these were all high level youkai–_

"Koenma-sama!"

"What?" I growled, angry that yet another complaining ferry girl had decided to barge in on me. I looked up, frowning, then blinked as a familiar head of blue hair poked in the door. "Oh, Botan."

"Koenma-sama, you've got to do something about those escaped criminals!" she exclaimed, leaning over my desk, her voice so excited that I couldn't tell whether she was angry or afraid or both. "Yumi just returned nearly unconscious, and the soul she was transporting was destroyed. The ferry girls are revolting! One of them found a dead guard by the gateway. They're refusing to work until they get some kind of protection. There's already a major soul backup in the Ningenkai!"

Slumping back in my chair, I groaned again

-

A/N: That wasn't too bad, was it? I'm not really crazy about writing from Koenma's pov – or Botan's – but it's a necessary part of the story. Have you gotten the connection between them and Karasu yet? If not, the next few chapters will clear everything up.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: Yu Yu Hakusho belongs _Yoshihiro_ Togashi (thank you for pointing out my typo!), Fuji TV, Pierrot, etc…

__

-

****

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 5**

__

- Kurama's pov -

Fire lances down my arm as another bomb explodes, and I lurch forward, nearly losing my balance. Maniacal laughter follows me, dances around me as I stumble on, and then finally brings me to my knees. I stifle a wince, though my human body is near its breaking point. Why aren't I transforming?

Darkness begins closing in on me. I fight it, knowing that I truly will be helpless if I succumb to it, but my efforts are in vain. My vision goes black, my legs give out beneath me. Yet I do not lose consciousness; I have been engulfed not by darkness but by a shadow, bat-like and chilling. Karasu's shadow. My breath quickens as I sense him behind me, his pale, spider-like fingers hovering above me. And again, I freeze.

The air around me shifts as he kneels behind me, his touch a ghost on the small of my back. "Can you feel it, Kurama? Can you feel my power?" he breathes. "It's everywhere. I'm everywhere. You can't escape me. I'm all around you, inside of you. Can you feel me?" His lips brush my ear, but still I am helpless to resist. I can't move…

"Can you feel me, Kurama? Because I have you. I have you. Mind. Body… And soul."

My eyes flew open, darting wildly around the room, and I bit back a scream. I brought my arms up around my shoulders, trying to find some sense of security, but they wouldn't respond. I struggled frantically, but my body remained motionless. Just as in the dream – just as on that day – I could not move.

My head pounded as a pressure began building in my mind, tightening around it, trapping it. _"I have you. Mind. Body… And soul."_ It was impossible, but somehow Karasu had carried out his threat from the other side of the grave.

And then, just as sudden as it had come, the pressure vanished. I shuddered violently and clenched my hands in the blankets, fighting off tears. Several minutes passed before I could think clearly again, and several more before my breathing returned to normal. I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms, trying to stop the flood of tears.

I wished Hiei were here. My mind was still hazy with fear, my heart still racing, my shoulders still shaking with sobs. I could not shake the feeling that Karasu still lingered somewhere within me, somewhere I could not reach. I wanted Hiei to reassure me that it was a dream, a nightmare. I wanted him to sigh and sneer at my ningen fears and tell me how stupid a fox I was.

But I had forced him away, and this time I wasn't sure he would return at all.

__

"You can't escape me. I'm all around you, inside of you. Can you feel me? Can you feel me, Kurama?"

I shivered and squeezed the hiruseki around my neck as a fresh wave of tears began.

-

__

Hiei's pov

I sprang from the branch, landing silently in a nearby tree. I was directly over my prey now, though I could no longer see it. I sensed the animal's youki quivering beneath me; it knew it was being hunted, and that it would not be able to escape. Still, it continued to run, its instincts taking over in a desperate race for survival.

But I didn't mind. The chase was the best part of the hunt, the part that made it worthwhile. I supposed it was the element of danger in it that made it so thrilling; you never knew when your prey would turn and attack, when the hunter would become the hunted.

I'd played both roles, and though I enjoyed the former more, being hunted wasn't so terrible. Especially when Kurama was the hunter.

I shook my head, cursing. Why did my thoughts insist on circling back to him? Despite my speed, I could not outrun his image. He was everywhere – in the green of the trees, in the red of blood, in silver of the lake at night. His eyes haunted me like a ghost.

Danger and excitement was what had drawn me to Kurama. A sense of power hung about him like a cloak, hinting at the energy that lurked inside. Even in his ningen form it was impossible to ignore, though I'd seen through his guise easily enough. His true form had its own allure: the renowned Youko Kurama, the desire of almost every being in the Makai. I'd known of his reputation – he was a youko after all, and youko weren't famous for their loyalty to their lovers – but I had allowed him to ensnare me anyway. The thrill of the hunt.

But Kurama had never been disloyal. His ningen captivity had subdued him somehow, softened his heart. Ningen seemed to treasure each emotion like it was new, reveling in it before their pitifully short lives were torn away from them, and Kurama had developed this habit also. The Ningenkai had changed him in more ways than he knew – or perhaps he did.

Never had Kurama acted so… cold toward me. He'd always been careful around me; I'd have called it timidity had I been talking about anyone else. Almost as if he were afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring me away. Which was why his words had affected me so deeply.

_"Is that how you solve your problems, _Forbidden Child?_ By running away?"_

I knew that the kitsune was not wholly to blame. I'd prompted his words with my own unforgiving attitude, punishing him for a choice I had already known he would make. But still, hearing Kurama's voice so icy had taken me by surprise. I'd never heard him speak to anyone like that who he didn't promptly kill afterwards. His control over his emotions was flawless; he never would have allowed his anger to show like that under normal circumstances.

Something had been wrong. I could not place it, but Kurama had not been himself. He'd been upset when I'd found him in the park; he'd seemed almost terrified of something. He'd hidden it well, but even his skill could not stand against my Jagan. I'd caught a glimpse of something in his eyes, a darkness hanging over him that I sensed even he wasn't aware of.

Guilt washed over me at that thought. Kurama had wanted only someone to talk to, someone who knew him, and I had walked out simply because he had asked me to wait. It had been important, for he would not have been so upset over nothing; Kurama was not the type to overreact.

I jumped from the branch, katana in hand, and darted forward to slash at the small Makai rabbit I'd been hunting. Another creature appeared in front of me, the rabbit in its jaws. I raised my katana, preparing to kill it for daring to steal my meal, then stopped short. My rival was a fox, though no youko like Kurama. I bared its teeth at me in a snarl and began inching slowly away, its glowing eyes never leaving mine. Lowering my sword, I watched it growl and disappear into the brush, rabbit still clutched tightly in its teeth. Then I sensed it: two fledgling – and hungry – youki, each carrying the distinct imprint of a kitsune pup. My rival's family.

Rival.

_Family._

I had been jealous. Shiori was my rival, the other contender for Kurama's heart, and when she had won that particular match, I had stormed out like a little child who'd lost a game. All the while ignoring Kurama's own feelings.

_"Is that how you solve your problems, _Forbidden Child?_ By running away?"_

No. But I had to prove that to him.

-

A/N: Hmm… that chapter seemed to go really fast. Is it just me? Anyway, the next one won't take so long, since I already have it just about finished. Give me a couple days. The next chapter is when things really start to heat up (Karasu's big debut!) so please keep reading!


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: Sadly, none of these bishies belong to me…

This chapter has been reposted because of an error on my part. I'd previously been calling Kurama's father Kenji, but I was misinformed. His name is Hatanaka _Kazuya_.

__****

To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 6

- Kurama's pov -

Darkness pressed around me, smothering my senses. I could no longer feel the pain, and the cold surface of the stadium floor had faded to a vague presence beneath me. I knew he was out there, circling, waiting, but I could not rise to defend myself. His youki drifted around me, dancing along the edges of my perception like a vulture waiting to feast, but I was not dead yet.

"You're afraid," Karasu murmured from somewhere behind me. His voice lowered, sounding breathless and eager. "I can smell it. It only adds to your allure… your piquancy…" He glided closer, the air shifting as he circled me. It wasn't terror that held me paralyzed now, but his youki. I could feel it surrounding me like one large explosive, and the slightest movement would detonate it.

His voice, when he spoke again, was strained, almost angry. "Do you know how many beings would die to have you?" He knelt down beside me, running his fingers across my arm. "To feel your perfect skin beneath their fingertips?" I shuddered as his fingers trailed lower, revulsion building up inside me until I thought I would be sick, but still his power kept me motionless. Air stirred beside me, and his breath whispered across my neck, no longer fettered by a mask. "But none will. Because you are mine."

Youki shivered around me as his lips pressed again mine, crushing me against the ground and throbbing against my temples. I tried to tear away, heedless of the explosive energy surrounding me, but his power had contracted, pinning me in place.

He laughed against my throat, and the panic began to rise up in me. This wasn't right; the dream had never gone this far before! My panic crested, and for a moment I was able to escape the hold Karasu's power had on me. Shouting hoarsely, I drew a rose from my hair, but could not summon the youki needed to transform it; Karasu recovered too quickly. He laughed as his youki tightened around me again, and the rose dropped to the ground. His insubstantial fingers found their way under my shirt, caressing like a lover. "You cannot escape me, Kurama. Look around you. _This is no dream_."

I blinked at his words, and he allowed me enough movement to gaze around. What I had taken for the stadium were four plain walls; the roar of the crowd, dulled by the numbing pain of my nonexistent wounds, was the sound of the breeze through the open window; and the arena floor my futon. Karasu's ghostly laughter danced over me like lightning as I looked around at the familiar shadows of my own bedroom.

I've waited an eternity for this, he whispered, his voice all around me now, inside of me. I could not see him, but his youki bound me just as tightly as any chain. His presence surrounded me, trapping my consciousness in a corner of my mind; no longer in control, I was an observer as Karasu clothed himself in my skin, sealing my soul behind a curtain of raw energy.

My fingers, under his control, brushed across my throat, coming to rest on the necklace that hung there. "You are mine," he murmured with my voice. Untying the knot, he tore it off and let it fall, clattering to the floor beside my unchanged rose. "Too bad you never said goodbye to him."

Karasu allowed my gaze to linger on the hiruseki glittering darkly on the floor. Fear settled over me then, heavy and cold. I was helpless again, but this was no dream from which I could awaken. And Hiei would not come to help me. Why should he, after the things I said? I was alone, trapped within my own mind as my greatest enemy controlled my body.

Unable to call out, I watched as Karasu ran my fingers under my shirt, caressing. Revulsion filled me as he trailed lower, searching. I cried out in protest, and he laughed. _Your voice is almost as beautiful in your head as out loud._ My fingers slid slowly out from under my shirt and combed through my hair. _I won't go that far – yet. Not here. There's something… inelegant about this world. I want to enjoy you in a setting that enhances your natural appeal._ He reached into my mind, browsing through memories until he came upon one of me and Hiei, enjoying a night alone in the park. _Ahh. I know the perfect place. You can discover the joys of delight and death all in the same place… surrounded by your precious plants._

_x_

-Shiori's pov-

Another hoarse cry broke the quiet, then cut off abruptly as if its source had been violently silenced. I sat up, throwing the blankets aside, only to have my husband's arm wrap around my waist.

"Shiori–"

"I can't stand it anymore," I said, shaking my head and twisting out of his grip. I searched the dark floor for my slippers, then slipped my feet in and stood.

My husband sighed. "He's old enough to take care of himself," he said. "Come back to bed."

"He's my son, Kazuya," I replied, fumbling for the sash of my robe. "I can't just listen to him scream. You'd do the same for Shu-chan." He began to protest again, but I was already halfway out the door, padding softly into the hallway.

I glanced back as I heard him sigh again, feeling somewhat guilty at having to choose between my husband and son. Kazuya had never approved of Shuuichi, believing he was too effeminate, too soft. Though he had never openly criticized my son, he had hinted on several occasions, urging Shuuichi to cut his hair and change his style of dress. When Shuuichi's relationship with Hiei had deepened into something more than friendship, Kazuya's disapproval had grown into outright scorn. Shuuichi had never actually admitted his feelings for the smaller boy, but neither had he tried to hide them. My son was not one to conceal what he felt to appease others.

But Hiei wasn't here, and I sensed that Shuuichi desperately needed someone to confide in now. A mother's intuition. I knew I was a poor substitute, but I couldn't leave him alone with his nightmares any longer.

I opened the door gently, careful not to startle him. Moonlight drifted in through the open window to dance lazily on the floor, broken by the shadows created by the tree outside. I pushed the door fully open, revealing crumpled blankets over an empty bed. I stared for a moment, trying to think of a rational explanation for my son's disappearance. How could he be gone so quickly? I hadn't heard the door open, and I would have seen him in the hallway. Where had he gone?

A flash of color caught my eye, and I walked over to the bed. It was a rose, full and red, lying haphazardly on the floor beside the dark stone Shuuichi always wore around his neck. I had never seen him without it.

Dread filled me, so heavy that I sank to my knees with a small cry. Something was terribly wrong, I could feel it.

A noise from outside startled me out of my fear, and I lurched toward the window, hoping that somehow it was Shuuichi. But even as I opened my mouth to call my son's name, I met a pair of startled red eyes, and I screamed.

x

A/N: Ooo, how was that ending? I'm not usually one for cliffhangers, but I think this one's fairly obvious. How many red-eyed beings hang outside Kurama's window? If _that_ didn't give it away, then I guess you'll just have to wait for the next chapter!

Oh, and before anyone gets mad at me, I want to point something out. The statement Shiori makes about Kurama not concealing his feelings is _supposed_ to be ironic. It's obviously not entirely true – he hides a lot of things from her – but the statement _is_ true of Kurama's real personality. He lies to her to protect her from the truth, but he wouldn't pretend to be something he's not just to please someone who disapproves of him. That's how I see him, anyway. Hope I didn't confuse anyone with that.

Thanks for keeping with me this far! The next chapter should be out before the Fourth of July. (hopefully!)


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I'm merely borrowing them for my own entertainment.

-

****

To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 7

_-Koenma's pov-_

I sank down in my chair, glad to simply be alone. For the past two days I'd done nothing but scream orders and make reassurances. The ferry girls had gotten their escorts, my father his report, and my soldiers their reinforcements. But still, six criminals remained uncaught.

I reached for the list of names, now expanded to full background reports for the remaining escapees. Thumbing through, I reached the file on Miakami Ryuen, the B-class whose report I'd never been able to finish.

"Name: Miakami Ryuen. Male. B-class. Previous convictions: 0. Imprisoned under special order 50067."

"Special order, hmm?" I turned toward the newly installed computer and brought up the prisoner's file, curious to see what he'd done to provoke me into issuing a special order of arrest. I found the file relatively quickly, considering my aversion to computers, and leaned forward to read the report.

"Miakami Ryuen, also known as…"

I gasped. Everything began to fall into place: the youki bomb, the B-class youkai, the dead guard, the special order… I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. I could have saved everyone so much grief had I only realized sooner…

I punched the button for the intercom and yelled for Botan. The ferry girl appeared only a moment later, frowning as she hurried into the office.

"Go find Kurama, Botan," I said before she could speak. "Tell him Karasu's escaped."

-

_-Hiei's pov-_

I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped through the gateway. Power hung in the air, neither ningen nor youki, not of the living but not quite dead, either. I felt as if I should recognize it, but couldn't quite place it. Yet somehow, I knew it was tied to Kurama.

No matter how much power I poured into my Jagan, I could not sense Kurama's youki. I knew he was near, still in the Ningenkai; but all I had was a vague feeling of him, hazy and churning with fear. Something was amiss, yet I refused to panic until I knew for certain what it was. First, I had to find Kurama.

I started toward his house at a run, landing in the tree outside his bedroom a few minutes later. Still, I could not sense his youki, and the sense of his presence had not gotten closer. With the beginnings of fear starting to worm their way into my heart, I rapped on the window and reached down to open it.

"Shuuichi-"

I froze as Shiori's pale face appeared in front of me. The woman let out a choked scream, barely a sound but enough to send me scrambling back to keep from falling out of the tree. How stupid could I have been to let a ningen startle me, especially when I knew she was in the house!

"Hiei-kun, wait! Hiei!"

I was ready to jump out of the tree and back into the night, but something in her voice stopped me. She sounded desperate… and afraid. I straightened and turned back to face her.

She reached out the window, her hand hanging in the air imploringly. "Hiei-kun, please, do you know where my son is?"

I blinked, a shiver running up my spine despite my cloak and scarf. "I thought he was here."

"He was," she said, shaking her head. Tears glittered in her dark eyes, tears she stubbornly refused to let fall. "I, I heard him cry out, and I came in to wake him, but he was already gone. I don't know what – it was only a few minutes after I heard him. He couldn't have just disappeared!"

My heart turned cold at her words, and all the guilt I'd manage to suppress came rushing back. For someone to overpower Kurama, the kitsune must have been injured – or his opponent must have been powerful. Had I not run away like a spoiled child, I would have been there to protect him.

I glanced back at Shiori, ready to jump out of the tree, when I saw the rose in her hand.

Kurama's rose.

That's it. I hadn't been able to sense his youki, but the rose was teeming with it. With any luck, I would be able to trace the energy in the rose to its source – to Kurama.

I glanced back at Shiori, then tore the ward off the Jagan. I had no time to worry about the ningen's reaction; my only thought now was finding Kurama.

Shiori gasped as the Jagan began to glow, ripping through the surrounding energies like a knife through fog in search of Kurama's familiar youki. The energy in the rose burned beside me, lighting a path through the darkness that had settled around us. I followed it toward its source only to have the light disappear suddenly as if someone had snuffed it out, sensing that I was no nearer to Kurama then when I started. I searched again, this time more thoroughly, but still could sense nothing. Something stood between the rose and Kurama, something not even my Jagan could penetrate from this distance.

Shiori's reiki blazed beside me, much stronger than I'd expected but still nowhere near as strong as Kurama's.

Kurama's reiki!

I'd become so accustomed to Kurama's ningen guise that I'd forgotten that it _wasn't_ his true form. Despite being a youko, Kurama's body was ningen; therefore, he had ningen reiki as well as demon youki. If I couldn't sense his youki, maybe I could find his reiki. I opened the Jagan again, aware of Shiori staring wide-eyed beside me, and sought out the pattern of Kurama's reiki, using Shiori's as a guide.

My power skimmed thousands of humans, searching out that unique energy print. The task was nearly overwhelming; there were tens of thousands of ningen here, while only a handful of youkai were close enough for me to sense.

After several minutes of no success, I was ready to give up. My energy was waning; I'd had the Jagan open almost constantly since I arrived in the Ningenkai. Guiltily, I let it fall shut.

A tongue of familiar energy flickered at the edge of my perception, and I snapped the Jagan back open. _Kurama! _But something was wrong; I could only faintly sense his reiki, and I still could not find any trace of his youki. Something was blocking his youki, some other presence: the strange energy I had sensed upon arriving in this world.

Crouching down, I prepared to jump out of the tree, but a hand on my arm kept me in place. "Please," Shiori murmured. "Where is he?"

I stared back at her, meeting her determined gaze in silence. Her hand tightened around my arm.

"Why should I tell you?"

I'd often hated Shiori. She was the only being in all the worlds beautiful enough to capture Kurama's heart, the only one able to steal the most precious possession of the Makai's greatest thief. Because of her, Kurama was trapped between worlds, unable to choose one and not willing to give up either of them.

I met her eyes, ready to disappear into the darkness, and was shocked to see tears streaming down her cheeks. "Because I care about him," she whispered.

It was then that I realized Shiori loved Kurama as much as I did, maybe even more. Theirs was a bond that could never be broken, not even by death. _Or by me. _But then, didn't Kurama and I share our own bond? It was different, yes, but no less powerful. It existed separately from the one he shared with Shiori, yet was somehow entwined. I knew Youko Kurama could never care for someone like Kurama did for me. It was this ningen woman who had opened his heart and shown him how to love. Shouldn't that count for something?

Rival. Family.

"He's somewhere in the park," I said before flitting back into the night.

-

-Botan's pov-

My kimono fluttered about me as I soared through the nighttime sky of the Ningenkai, crouched low against the wind. My heart raced almost as fast as my oar, thudding loudly in the silence that had fallen over the city. Images raced through my mind, memories of the Dark Tournament and our first encounter with Karasu. What if I was too late? We'd nearly lost Kurama once to the youkai. I didn't want to see it happen again.

I finally reached his house, breathless and shaking, and flew around to his window. The room was empty. I realized that I couldn't sense his youki inside, and Shiori's ningen energy was absent, also.

Oh, no. I hovered outside the house for a moment, trying to think clearly through the maelstrom raging inside of me. Had Karasu already found him? It had only been two and a half days since the youkai had escaped. He couldn't have done that much damage in so short a time… could he?

I turned, heading away from Kurama's house. I had to find Yusuke. With Hiei off somewhere in the Makai and Koenma tied up in the Reikai, I didn't know who else to turn to. I just hoped Yusuke was home.

-

A/N: Phew! That was a long chapter! Much longer than I'm used to writing, I just couldn't squeeze everything I wanted into a short chapter. The next chapter might be a little long, also. I should have that out in a few days.

Just to let you know, All the names on Koenma's list, including Karasu's, are made up. I don't know if Karasu has another name, I just used that as a subplot for the story. But he _is_ a B-class. ReikiTantei.net has a list of all the character's classes, which is where I got my info from.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: All of the characters in this story are mine! No, not really…

A/N: Just a warning, this chapter is where the pg-13 rating comes in. Nothing graphic, just implications. You can't deny there was a sexual aspect of Karasu's attraction to Kurama. If you've read my profile, you know I don't write citrus, except for the rare mild – very mild – lime, which this is.

-

****

To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 8

-Kurama's pov-

Fingers grazed my arms, trailing downward in slow, seductive spirals. They paused at the edge of my shirt, then slipped under and tugged it off. The wind danced along my skin, warm and musky and full of energy, bringing with it the smell of night flowers and earth. Moonlight filtering through the trees traced patterns on my arms, patterns the fingers followed languidly. My body shivered.

A laugh broke through the silence, harsh and carnal – and all the more troubling because it was mine.

"Your skin is so soft," Karasu whispered, his words framed in my voice. "I'd never imagined a ningen could be so… tantalizing." With that his hands – my hands – slid lower, gliding sinuously like snakes. Trapped within my own mind, I could not stop him as he caressed my stomach, my chest, my hips. My fingers paused, hovering over my right side, then grazed my skin inquiringly. "A scar?" I felt a smile tug at my lips as Karasu rubbed the jagged flesh. "Why did you keep it? I know your plants can heal anything. Why did you choose to allow this mark to remain?"

Don't feel privileged, Karasu, I snarled, anger and the beginnings of fear tightening my voice. _I wouldn't have kept it had it come from you._

Clouds covered the moon, casting the world in shadow. Karasu inhaled sharply, pressing my hand against the scar, covering it. "_He_ gave this to you," he murmured. "The half-breed."

Yes, I replied, anger smoldering within me now. Anger at Karasu for humiliating me so, anger at myself for being unable to resist him, for forcing away the only one who could. _And I'll carry it with me forever._

"Hmm, not if I cut it out," Karasu laughed, dragging my fingernail over it. "But no. This ningen body's so frail, I'd be afraid you would bleed to death. I can't have you dying. Not yet." The corners of my mouth tugged up in a smirk. "I'd like to toy with you a little before you die."

I scowled; the irony of his words was not lost on me. I'd said the same to him during the Dark Tournament after my onjigi had consumed him; indeed, I had gotten my wish, for he had come back to nearly kill me. Yet the thought gave me hope, for if those words had proved bad luck for me, perhaps they would for him, also.

Karasu brought my hand up to cover my heart, and my eyes fluttered closed. "I can feel your heartbeat," he murmured. The wind blew, raking its fingers through my hair, and Karasu smiled. "Your body is exquisite, Kurama." My other hand moved lower, brushing the top of my pants. Heat ran through me, quickening my heart and drawing another sultry laugh from Karasu. "You're enjoying this," he breathed.

No, I growled. _You are._ I was repulsed by his touch, and ashamed. But my body responded, coming alive under his hands – _my _hands. Karasu was immune to the humiliation within me; on the contrary, he delighted in it. Pain was as exciting to him as pleasure – more, perhaps, knowing Karasu's sadomasochistic nature. He enjoyed knowing that I was helpless against him, that I could do nothing as he used my own body to break the promise of fidelity that I'd made to Hiei. He enjoyed knowing I was hopeless.

My hand shifted so that it lay over my throat, where Hiei's hiruseki had rested. "You're thinking of him," Karasu breathed. "I can feel it." A grin broke over my face, giddy and triumphant. "The half-breed won't come for you this time. I've made sure of that."

"Is that how you solve your problems, Forbidden Child?_ By running away?"_

Damn you, Karasu, I cried. _That was you speaking through me, forcing Hiei away. You said those things to him!_

Karasu's only reply was a smile. "No, he won't return now." His voice rose in pitch, mania and excitement giving it a shrill edge. "You're mine, Kurama! Your half-breed cannot help you now!"

Despair crested in me, spilling over in waves I was helpless to control. Karasu laughed, breaking the quiet of the park as invisible tears rolled down my cheeks. I raged against the walls imprisoning me, pouring all my youki into my mental barrage. I did not want to die here, alone, never to see Hiei again. But my world was bleak; whatever hope I had left was gone. My attack was that of a desperate prisoner, fated to die but unable to give up while he still had the strength to resist. Yet in my heart, I knew. Karasu had had years to gather his strength. His hold on me was unbreakable. I would never again leave this park.

All my emotions spent, I collapsed in my prison, Karasu's laughter still echoing around me. The world was deathly still around us, holding its breath. A crow cawed overhead, eager for blood to be shed, and Karasu raised my hands to circle my neck.

"Are you afraid, Kurama?"

I shivered, feeling my fingers tighten around my neck. My breathing grew short and painful, my heart racing.

"Are you afraid?"

I shook my head as the world began to dance around me, blocking out all the desperation that had threatened to drown me. Darkness ate at my vision, and I slumped against the walls of my prison, feeling my strength bleeding away with every breath.

"Kurama?"

I froze, feeling hope trickle back through the despair surrounding me. Part of me couldn't believe it – wouldn't believe it, lest it was another delusion meant only to shatter my spirit yet again. The voice repeated my name.

Slowly, Karasu lowered my hands from my throat and turned. He moved achingly slow, seeming to take an eternity to bring my eyes up to rest on the shadowy figure standing before us.

Hiei, I breathed.

-

-Yusuke's pov-

"Tell me again what the hell's going on here?" I panted, ducking into another dark alley.

Beside me on her oar, Botan sighed exaggeratedly. "Karasu's escaped, and he's probably going to go after Kurama. So you have to run faster!"

"I got that part," I said dryly as I stumbled over a discarded box. "But how could he have escaped? I thought the Reikai had the best prison in all three worlds."

"We do. But even the most impregnable prison is no match for a vengeful youkai who's had years to consolidate his power." Botan frowned and bit her nail. "What I don't understand is how Karasu was able to gather so much youki despite the thousands of wards placed around the prison. And then create a bomb of such power without anyone noticing it."

"Yeah. It's a mystery, ne?" I put on another burst of speed, following Hiei's oddly unconcealed youki. For Hiei to flaunt his energy like that, he either didn't care who sensed him or was too preoccupied to conceal it. And with Kurama in danger, I'd bet my life on the latter. I turned down a side street and headed toward the park entrance.

"Why are we going to the park?" Botan asked from beside me. "If you can't sense Kurama's energy–"

"Hiei's there," I replied. "Kurama should be somewhere near him."

"How do you know?"

I shot her a glare. "If you haven't figured that out yet, you're even stupider than I thought."

"Hey!"

"Shut up and keep moving," I muttered.

Growling in frustration, she swept her oar under my legs, and I landed hard on it behind her. "You're too slow!" she said before soaring up into the sky and toward the smoldering heat of Hiei's youki.

-

A/N: Hmm… I didn't get many reviews on the last chapter. I hope I get more on this one. (hint hint) Is the story too long? Is that it? There are only three more chapters left, I promise!


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: These characters don't belong to me… but then you all knew that, right?

A/N: Oh... I suppose I should have put this in the last chapter, but I forgot. Youki means demon spirit energy, and reiki is human spirit energy. Just in case anyone was confused, because that plays a big part in this chapter.

-

****

To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 9

-Hiei's pov-

"Kurama?" I repeated warily. Wind stirred around me, trembling with power, as restless and anxious as I was. The moon had disappeared behind a knot of clouds, throwing shadows over the already dismal night and deepening the darkness that had seeped into the world.

Something was wrong; here Kurama stood before me, yet I still could not clearly sense his youki. And what was he doing here, alone, so late at night when I knew he could sense the energy crackling in the air around us?

He turned toward me slowly, lowering his hands to his sides. "Hiei," he murmured, then smiled, his eyes narrowing coldly. "How convenient." He sauntered toward me then, mouth twisted in an eerie grin, fingers splayed at his sides, eyes glowing an icy green. An image flitted through my mind, a memory of someone, of sometime, but it was gone before I could catch it.

I stepped back as Kurama reached out for me, leaving his hand hanging in the air. There was something... _wrong_ here, something I knew I should recognize but for some reason couldn't. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was not Kurama I was facing, yet I knew it was impossible. I could see him, smell him, sense his reiki – but still not his youki. It was as if Kurama's body, bearing its ningen reiki, was here, but not his youkai soul.

Before Kurama could reach for me again, I ripped off the ward covering the Jagan and threw its power out toward him like a web, searching, probing. Some part of me felt guilty; how could I doubt Kurama so? But another part of me – the rational part – said that Kurama wasn't here to see my lack of trust. Harnessing the Jagan's potentially fatal power, I let it wash through Kurama like a wave. I was afraid of what I might find, but more afraid of what I _wouldn't_.

Energy burned around me, neither living nor dead, but instead a strange mixture of the two. The Jagan sliced through it like a shark through water, hunting the source of the energy. It found it instantly; as I suspected, it was coming from Kurama. But it wasn't Kurama himself, for his youki was still missing. Another source of energy inhabited his body, a source I knew very well.

Karasu.

I darted forward, grabbing his bare arm and pulling him down so we were face to face. The Jagan was open and hungry for blood, but I held it back, unwilling to risk harming Kurama no matter who was looking out through his eyes. "Where's Kurama?" I growled, glaring into swirls of violet and emerald as they danced laughingly before me.

"You'll never have him again, half-breed," Karasu murmured, smiling. "The kitsune is mine."

Energy eddied around me, and with the Jagan I saw one of Karasu's invisible bombs form by my arm. I let go of Kurama but was too slow to avoid the detonation. Pain lanced down my arm as the air exploded and I staggered back, clutching at the tattered wards covering the Kokuryuha. I would never release it on Kurama, no matter who inhabited his body.

"Where is Kurama?" I repeated, placing my hand on my katana. "Where is–" Another explosion silenced me, sending me to my knees as blood ran down my leg.

"Hiei."

I looked up, startled, to meet a set of wide green eyes. "Kurama." I struggled to stand as he reached one hand out to me, features hard with determination. Emerald warred with violet, two sets of energies clashing, vying for dominance, for life. I could sense the battle within him as he fought Karasu for control – a battle I wasn't sure he was going to win.

"Run, Hiei," he whispered, straining against the youkai's power. "Please."

And then his green eyes disappeared behind a cloud of icy blue, and the hand he had extended to me balled into a fist of crackling youki. I was ready this time, a shield erected around myself, but the bomb never came. Instead, a blast of visible light sped past us, just narrowly missing Kurama's shoulder.

"That was a warning," Yusuke said. "Next time, I won't miss."

Botan gasped beside him. "That's Karasu!"

Kurama's eyes flashed angrily as he glanced toward the ningen. "Another lover, Kurama?" He sneered in Yusuke's direction and lifted his hand, palm up. "This one shouldn't be too hard to kill!" Youki exploded from his palm, shooting toward Yusuke and Botan.

"Move!" I shouted, drawing my katana, though I couldn't find the strength to wield it against Kurama. Unable to see the youki bombs heading toward them, Yusuke and Botan dove to the ground, just narrowly escaping the barrage of energy.

Yusuke lurched to his feet, gathering his reiki for another attack. Karasu laughed as the ningen lunged at him, releasing his reiki in a volley of punches. Dodging them easily, Karasu grabbed Yusuke's arm, forcing his youki in through the touch. The ningen winced as the bomb detonated, tearing a hole in his forearm. Unfazed, Yusuke darted forward for another series of punches and kicks, all of which Karasu evaded. "Dammit, Hiei," he growled. "Don't just stand there, help me fight!"

Fight? Fight… Kurama?

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. They were stuck, trapped behind I lump of tangy emotion. I couldn't fight Kurama. No matter who else was in that body, Kurama was, also. I'd caused him enough pain already. I couldn't fight him again.

"Hiei! Snap out of it!"

I blinked as Yusuke called my name again; the ningen was still dodging and punching, though he sported several more wounds. Lithe and graceful in Kurama's ningen body, Karasu easily avoided every attack, his hands weaving through the air as he plaited his energy into explosive spheres that showered blood into the darkness. Yusuke was purposely holding back – and losing the fight because of it. But then, I wasn't sure if that was such a terrible thing.

"Hiei," Yusuke growled through strikes and dodges. "I know you care about Kurama, but that's why you have to fight!" The ningen winced as he took another blow, but recovered quickly and returned a punch of his own. "You're the only one who can kill Karasu. You-"

"Kill me?" Karasu laughed, shoving another wave of Trace Eyes toward Yusuke. "You can't kill me. Not unless you plan to kill your precious fox also!"

Bringing his arms up to shield himself, Yusuke growled and glared over his shoulder at me. "You want to free Kurama, don't you? Then _help me fight!"_

The words echoed in my mind, stabbing at my heart. Was that it, then? Fight Kurama, or watch him die by Karasu's hands? By his _own_ hands?

Dammit, Kurama, what am I supposed to do?

-

-Shiori's pov-

Tires screeched under the strain of the brakes, but I didn't wait for them to stop before turning the key and stumbling out of the car. Hands trembling and heart racing, I dashed into the darkness of the park where somewhere – I prayed – my son and Hiei were. I didn't take the time to think further than that, for my strength lay in my ignorance, my unknowingness. The world I knew was crumbling around me, and if I stopped to watch it collapse, I would never make it to my son.

The night was silent around me; no crickets chirped, no animals stirred, and the cool breeze had disappeared. A heaviness hung in the air, pressing around me like a damp cloak until I thought I would suffocate. I stood frozen for a moment, teetering precariously on the verge of despair, unable to move forward and unwilling to step backward lest I fall over the edge into the abyss.

And then the silence shattered.

I gasped as the night exploded before me, illuminating four silhouettes that had been hidden beneath the darkness. "Shuuichi," I murmured, shaking myself from my stupor. "Shuuichi!"

Moonlight came flooding down as the clouds that had damned it parted, throwing the world into sharp relief. I entered the sheltered clearing, and the silhouettes became actual forms. Hiei stood to the side, his face turned away from me, as a girl – one I'd seen several times with Shuuichi – looked on in fear. Another boy – Yusuke – stood facing Shuuichi, arms crossed in front of him as if to ward off an attack.

"Shuuichi!" I cried, stepping forward uncertainly. What was going on?

All eyes turned toward me. I froze, feeling myself tip ever closer to the edge. I'd left the world behind and entered a new one, a world of three-eyed boys and hands that glowed an eerie blue. A world where I was the outsider and my son was someone I knew nothing about.

I repeated my son's name hesitantly, desperate for something to anchor me to the here and now, the reality that was no reality at all. He grinned, a cold imitation of his usual warm smile, then sent Yusuke flying backwards with a flick of his fingers before gliding over to me. His hand came up to my face, and he lifted my head until I met his eyes. His hands were cold, his nails digging into my skin like icicles. Amethyst swam through emerald, dancing in hypnotizing spirals as he trailed his fingers down my neck. "You're the one he gave up his life for, the ningen who stole his heart." I stood, captivated and unheeding, as he leaned closer, brushing his lips against my throat. "Should I kill her, Kurama? This ningen who holds such power over you?"

Fingers closed around my neck, tightening. I gasped, breaking free of the spell that had held me motionless. "Shuuichi," I wheezed, covering his hands with my own. I struggled, panicked, but my son's grip was like iron. "What-?"

He laughed as he released me, his cold eyes glittering. Air stirred around us, gathering in his outstretched hand. A ball of light glittered there, then solidified into a winged, gray sphere. "How do you like my Trace Eye? It's a bomb." He smirked. "You know what they do, don't you?"

Fear welled up in me then, heavy and cold. I felt the chill of death around me, summoned by my son, and I was afraid. What was happening? This couldn't be my son, who watched the sunlight with sad eyes, who danced in the rain and smiled when the roses were in bloom. This couldn't be my Shuuichi. "Shuuichi–"

I watched as if in a trance as the bat-like object flew toward me, fire sparkling at the end of its fuse. I couldn't move, couldn't run, couldn't scream…

Shuuichi!

-

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. I can't believe I've gotten over thirty already. I never expected so many people to read this.

Kuwabaralover (and everyone else) if you like the somewhat twisted relationship between Karasu and Kurama, you might like my fic Koori no Naifu wo Daite. It's Kurama's thoughts during his fight with Karasu, done in stream of conscious style. It's still KxH, but there's a healthy dash of KxK in it, too. Also, keep an eye out for my next fic. It's a Karasu-centered story that explains his past and his fascination with Kurama.


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: Come on, it's the tenth chapter! Do I have to repeat it?

A/N: FYI, I use a few Japanese terms in the story, and in case you don't know what they mean, I'm just going to make a short list. I suppose I should have included this earlier…  
youkai – demon  
ningen – human  
youko – spirit fox  
kitsune – fox  
youki – demon energy  
reiki – human energy  
Kokuryuha – Black Dragon (Black Dragon Wave is Jao Ensatsu Kokuryuha) I think that's it… Let me know if I missed anything! __

-

****

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 10**

__

-Kurama's pov-

Kaasan!

Brilliance showered through the night as the explosion shattered the silence, tearing through the air like a razor, Shiori's reiki disappearing in its wake. I screamed in my soundless prison, tears streaming down my face, tears that not even Karasu could quell. Anguish and despair roiled within me, powerful enough to break the youkai's hold for a moment, and I stumbled forward into the cloud of dust, coughing out my mother's name.

The barrier around my soul returned as the dust began to settle, and I raged against it, pouring all the energy I had left into my assault. Karasu held me back, easily crushing my desperate struggle to regain control and rush into the cloud of dust. I screamed again, this time in fury. Karasu had killed my mother, and I had been helpless to stop him.

_Helpless… _I was so tired of being helpless against him, tired of being unable to do more than watch as he destroyed the precious life I had found here. I owed Shiori that life – both my lives – and I had let her die.

"Human lives are so fragile," Karasu mused thoughtfully. "They spend all their life waiting for death, and when it finally comes, they realize that they never took the chance to live._" _He paused, then smiled slowly. "I wonder how that must feel, being killed by your own son."

_Damn you!_ I cried, raging against the youki that held me prisoner. Tendrils of power snaked around me, binding me tighter so I could do little more than scream out my grief. _Damn you!_

Karasu laughed, breathy and complacent, and stepped forward to admire his work. The dust began to disappear, leaving only moonlight where it had been. I could feel the anticipation coursing through him, and he held my soul firmly in his grip, murmuring seductively to me. "Watch, Kurama," he whispered. "This is your power."

The dust finally settled completely, and two figures rose from the ground.

"That was stupid." An oval of light blossomed from the smaller figure, illuminating the night around us, and Karasu took a step back in surprise. Hiei glared, the Jagan open, eyes full of hate and regret, and raised his katana. "You've gone too far."

Karasu laughed while inside I cried silently, unable to tear my gaze from my mother's face. She was alive. Hiei's barrier had saved her, protected her from Karasu's attack while hiding her reiki underneath. Karasu hadn't killed my mother.

Shaking slightly, Shiori rose unsteadily to her feet behind Hiei. Her dark eyes met mine, cloudy with tears and fear. And somehow, despite all I'd done, despite all that she'd suffered, she smiled.

_Kaasan…_ I longed to reach out for her, for Hiei, but the chains around my soul were made of iron, too strong for even the love of a demon to break.

"Are you going to fight me now, half-breed?" Karasu sneered.

Hiei looked up, frowning. I saw the indecision in his eyes, the fear and dismay, and I silently prayed that he'd find the strength to fight. I wanted the nightmare to end. I wanted to be free of Karasu forever, to be able to sleep at night knowing my mother was safe and feeling Hiei's arms around me, strong and sure. I wanted to lay the past to rest and be able to look forward to the future without its ghosts holding me back. _I want… to live._

"Yes," Hiei said.

-

__

-Hiei's pov-

Thunder rumbled in the distance, low and ominous, as the skies split open with a slow, steady rain. The wind had disappeared, the city fallen asleep around us. No one spoke; no one dared to even whisper. For a moment all was still, holding its breath in anticipation.

The moon hidden behind the clouds once more, the Jagan provided the only light. Its eerie bluish glow made the world seem harsh and unreal, casting sharp shadows among the trees and glinting off the raindrops that had replaced the tears on Kurama's face. Rain streamed down my blade like colorless blood to drip sluggishly to the ground. I raised my katana, pointing its tip at Kurama's neck, and met the icy storms of his eyes. No emerald glimmered through the violet now; whatever strength Kurama had used to break free was gone, washed away with his tears.

"Yusuke," I said, my eyes never leaving Karasu's. "Protect Shiori."

The ningen lay where he had been thrown, staring with blank eyes. He blinked as I called his name and pushed unsteadily to his feet. Botan slunk around me, watching Karasu warily, to stand beside Shiori. "But Hiei–"

His protest was cut short as the Jagan flared, angry and bloodthirsty, and the last of the wards covering the Kokuryuha fell away. "Protect her," I repeated. I stepped forward, bringing my blade within inches of Kurama's throat. "This is my battle." _And I don't want Kurama being injured any more than he has to._

Karasu smirked, the air around his fingers crackling with energy only the Jagan could see. "Brave, half-breed. Foolish, but brave."

I thrust my katana forward again, fury burning in my right arm, but stopped before it could pierce Kurama's skin. Karasu merely smiled. "Be careful, half-breed. You wouldn't want to slip and slit your lover's throat, now, would you?" Grinning, he leaned forward until the tip of my katana touched Kurama's neck. A single bead of blood trailed down the blade, mixing with the rain until it was washed away. I dropped my katana and Karasu laughed, his eyes dancing in a smug sneer.

Air stirred behind me as Shiori stumbled away from Botan. "Hiei–" Her voice caught on her tears, and I could almost feel her dark eyes boring into my back, shining with fear and determination and love. "Please. I don't know what's happening, but please, save my son. Please, Hiei–" Her voice faded again, and I heard Botan murmur reassurances as she pulled her back.

His icy eyes fixed on Shiori, Karasu smiled. "So many tears, Kurama. Even the sky cries for you." He brushed his fingers against the wound at Kurama's throat, then brought them up to his lips. "Tears of blood to water the roses for your grave." He shifted his gaze to me. "Are you afraid, little one?" he whispered, leaning closer once more.

Youki crackled at my side as another bomb formed and exploded, rocking the shield I'd hastily created around myself. I darted to the side as more appeared, dodging most and letting my shield handle the rest.

_Yes,_ I thought, gripping my katana with trembling hands. _I'm afraid._

I lunged forward, growling, as the Kokuryuha raged in my right arm, straining against my will.

__

I'm terrified.

I swept my blade up in a sharp arc aimed at Kurama's shoulder, but Karasu dodged it easily, taking advantage of Kurama's grace and speed. My next attack was blocked with a bomb, one I barely managed to dodge before it detonated.

__

But my feelings don't matter right now.

My katana sliced through the air, guided by the Jagan, seeking blood but never able to break through Karasu's defenses. Even my speed was useless; Karasu could follow my movements easily, tracking me as even Yusuke was never able to do.

__

All that matters is Kurama.

The deadly dance of slashes and parries continued as blades and bombs crossed, clashed, exploded. Rain streamed down like blood from a wound that would never heal as lightning screamed through the sky, its brief explosions of light illuminating the clearing. Karasu dodged every attack effortlessly, parrying with bombs or swords of explosive energy. I landed few blows, though I couldn't say I wasn't somewhat relieved. Every attack, every swing of my sword, every drop of blood sent a shock of guilt through me, threatening to paralyze me before I could strike him again.

The lightning flashed again, throwing Kurama's haunted face into sharp relief. I searched it, looking for some trace of the Kurama I knew, and found none. Kurama was still alive, I was sure; I'd feel it if he were dead, if something had happened to his soul. Hidden behind Karasu's hate and lust, I still could not sense him, but I was certain he was alive.

My attention diverted, Karasu threw a shower of bombs at me. Too lost in the maelstroms of his eyes, I couldn't block them all, and fire tore through my body as they exploded around me. I dropped to my knees, the world swimming around me, but I refused to give in to the darkness eating at my vision. I was Kurama's only hope…

I could feel Yusuke's tension behind me, his eagerness to fight; Botan's fear, fear that she'd be forced to take yet another loved one to hell; and Shiori's boundless hope. No fear radiated from the ningen woman, only the hope that this would all end, that she'd wake from this nightmare and see her son smiling at her again.

I rose unsteadily to my feet. Wrapping my fingers around the hilt of my katana, I looked up to meet Karasu's eyes, silently asking Kurama to forgive me, and removed the restraints I'd placed on the Kokuryuha.

-

A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing Koori no Naifu, kuwabaralover! It's one of my earlier fics and is kind of dead now…

Anyway! There's only one more chapter left! Only one? Yup! I'm surprised I managed to take this story so far, but I'm glad I'm almost finished. I'm working on another Karasu/Kurama fic now, and it's a pain writing two stories at once. The last chapter will be out in about a week. I'm still thinking about that epilogue, though… If you're still interested, that is. Let me know, and I'll tell you next chapter whether I'm adding it or not. (For those who _didn't_ read my author notes, it would be about Kurama explaining his past to Shiori.)


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I'm _not _repeating it.

__

-

****

**To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 11**

__

-Hiei's pov-

Energy pulsed through me, hot and heady, heightening my senses until the smell of sweat and blood nearly overwhelmed me. I could see the flecks of green in Karasu's indigo eyes, growing fainter each second as Kurama's strength and resolve waned. I could see every mote of youki spiraling around Karasu's fingers, could hear the raindrops landing on his skin, could feel the air shifting around him as he breathed. And somewhere within the maelstrom of Karasu's youki, I could sense Kurama, weak but alive, powerless against the youkai who'd transcended death to destroy him.

Black flames engulfed my right arm, licking at the air and lunging toward Karasu. I reigned them in, but could not subdue them completely. Fear settled in my stomach – what had I unleashed on Kurama? Even I, who'd mastered the Kokuryuha, could not completely control it. For the dragon was inside me, _was_ me, and every living being knows it's easier to control others than yourself.

"The Black Dragon?" Karasu smirked. "You must be attached to the kitsune, if you're willing to unleash that on him rather than see him in my hands. Or are you just jealous, little half-breed?"

I snarled, nearly loosing the Dragon, but somehow managed to hold it back. It raged inside of me, screaming for blood to sate its hunger, unable to understand why I held it back. I could feel its fire burning within me; its bloodlust ran through my veins, nearly driving me mad with it. I fought it with all my might, for this was the only way I could kill Karasu without harming Kurama. But the Kokuryuha wanted blood, not a youkai's soul. And Kurama's blood was sweet, charged with both human and demon energy. I shuddered, clamping down on the craving screaming through me.

"Come, Hiei," Karasu murmured seductively. "The Dragon is hungry. I can smell your lust. Let it feed." He raised his head, baring his neck. Blood still lingered on Kurama's throat from the wound my sword had inflicted, glistening darkly in the flames. "Come."

"Dammit, Hiei, don't listen to him!" Yusuke screamed behind me. I felt him approach and threw up a barrier around us, effectively sealing him out. The Dragon was gaining ground within me, drawing off my doubt, and I feared the consequences of anyone else coming nearer.

"Come, half-breed, fight me!" Karasu shrieked as his energy exploded around me, hundreds of bombs detonating only inches from my body. I couldn't concentrate on shielding myself and controlling the Dragon at the same time, and my anger took over, bathing the world in red. My shield collapsed as the Kokuryuha surged forward, jaws open, eyes set on Kurama.

"Hiei!" Yusuke yelled, Botan chorusing him. "Hiei, stop!"

Their cries were lost in the roar of the storm around me; they never reached me, too slow to keep up with my speed. I was beside Karasu in an instant, my katana arching upward to slice at his chest. I could see the shine of the blade under the raindrops, smell the blood about to be spilled. The Dragon howled its triumph as the blade swept up, lightning quick, too quick to dodge.

__

"Hiei!"

I stopped. The blade fell from my hands, bare centimeters from Kurama's skin. Rain pelted down, pouring now, as I stared at the cold metal glistening in the grass. The Dragon was silent within me, silenced by the echo of Shiori's desperate cry and my own horror. I'd lost control of the power inside me, and it had almost cost Kurama his life. But the Kokuryuha was cowed now, lurking just beneath the surface but no longer fighting me.

"Damn you, Karasu," I seethed, looking up to meet his gaze. "Damn you to hell."

"I've already been to Hell," he whispered dangerously. "You'll have to find a better place to damn me to, for even Hell couldn't hold me for long!"

"Then damn you to oblivion!" And with that the Jagan flared, drawing on the power of the Dragon to break past Karasu's barriers, hooking Karasu's soul through his eyes and ensnaring it in ribbons of its power. Karasu hissed, trying to tear his eyes away but unable to break free of the Jagan's clutch. The Jagan could not be unseated so easily, and Karasu knew it. He thrust his youki into me in a last desperate attack, breaking through the shield I could no longer sustain, until my entire body hummed with explosive power.

I had less than seconds until his youki detonated, but that was all I needed. Time slowed, stretching each moment into a century, each heartbeat into a lifetime. I could see Karasu's soul, writhing and twisting like a snake around Kurama's. The Jagan reached through the emptiness between us, crossing light-years in a single stride. The Dragon lent it dexterity; alone the Jagan was too raw a power to be able to navigate Kurama's mind without ravaging it as well as Karasu. It tugged the shadow from Kurama's body so that it hung suspended in the void between life and death, then flooded the cold fire of Karasu's soul with its power.

One last silent scream split the darkness, and then Karasu's soul shattered into a thousand shards of nothing.

The explosive youki within me disappeared, melting away as the barriers around Kurama's soul collapsed. Warmth flooded over me, Kurama's youki enveloping me like a cloak as his soul melted back into its proper place. Memories flew past me, memories of me, of Shiori, of his ningen life; memories of pain and death; memories of Kuronue, of freedom. The Jagan touched each one lightly, returning strength that had been stolen, repairing the damage its presence had caused. Then it withdrew, falling slowly shut.

The moment of struggle passed in the blink of an eye, and Kurama collapsed to the ground. Unable to completely shake off the trance the Jagan had pulled me into, I stood frozen for a moment, then knelt by the kitsune's side. Kurama's chest rose and fell slowly, and his youki burned faintly within him. He was alive, if weak. I hadn't sensed any damage to his soul, but Karasu's youki worked in eccentric ways. "Kurama," I murmured. _Dammit Kurama, open your eyes!_

I held my breath, waiting, hoping, as the others looked on anxiously. The rain began to abate, lightening to a slight drizzle. The moon broke through the clouds, briefly, showering the world with its soft light as it began creeping down toward the horizon. The night was already over.

A breath of air brushed my arm, and the warm body in my arms shifted slightly. "Hiei?"

I exhaled sharply, all the tension that had built up within me draining out with my breath. My arms shook; my entire body was weary with stress and relief. The nightmare had ended, and Kurama was alive.

-

__

-Kurama's pov-

Karasu's scream echoed within me, searing my soul and sending pain shrieking through my body. The barrier crumbled around me as his power dissipated, but still I was trapped, bound in place by the resounding of his heart-wrenching cry. Filled with rage and hatred, it blazed through the night like a comet, rending the very sky as it streaked toward the horizon toward nonexistence.

But within the layers of anger and malice and spite glimmered something more, something not so sinister. Karasu's scream was tinged with regret, the regret of one who's held onto something precious, all the while knowing they could never possess it, and finally lost it to fate. I wondered at that, at the other side of Karasu I'd been afraid to explore, and some part of my heart shared that regret. What could have happened to him to make killing the one you loved seem easier than losing them to death?

__

Kurama…

Hiei's voice drifted in through the fog of pain and confusion surrounding me, calling, beckoning, drawing me back to life and the world. I hesitated only a moment, then swam toward it, never certain of my path, but feeling Hiei's love burning inside me and knowing that as long as I followed it I'd find my way.

Sensations returned slowly: the feel of the cool rain on my skin, washing away the blood and tears; the taste of grit in my mouth; the sounds of the night rustling softly around me; the smell of sweat and the metallic stench of blood. The feel of warm arms around me, cradling me gently. Hot energy coursing through me as Hiei poured his energy into me, lending me his strength.

"Hiei?" I whispered.

The flow of youki faltered as Hiei slumped against me, sighing in relief. His arms tightened around me, trembling, and his heart raced so loudly I knew the sky would tremble with it. "Kurama," he breathed. "Damn you, you stupid fox."

I opened my eyes, blinking until the world came into focus, and smiled up at him. "Thank you, koi."

And as Hiei gathered me in his arms, as my mother and Yusuke rushed over, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow, of remorse, for the soul that was destroyed and the tangled love that never had the chance to blossom.

-

A/N: Last chapter! And since I only got _one_ person to even _comment _on the epilogue (thank you kuwabaralover!) I will post it, but it might take me a while. Unless I get more **reviews** on this chapter. I need some kind of motivation, after all. One comment just won't cut it. So you can expect the epilogue out in maybe a week or so.


	12. Epilogue

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own Kurama and Hiei. They are tied up in my bedroom right now. Yeah, I wish… Hey, it's the last chapter, and I deserve something for making it this far, ne?

-

****

To Look Upon a Rose: Epilogue

-Shiori's pov-

"You deserve an explanation."

I looked up from the flowers I'd been tending – Shuuichi had been resting for the past few days, recovering, and they'd begun to suffer under the neglect – and met the ashen green eyes of my son. The wintry violet that had blanketed them had never fully disappeared, almost as if some part of him was reluctant to let it go. Seeing them still startled me, for it reminded me that no matter how much I tried to deny it, my son belonged to a different world than I did, a world in which I had no place_._ A world in which I never would have a place, no matter how much I loved him.

Brushing the dirt from my hands to give myself a moment to wipe the sadness from my eyes, I stood and offered him a small smile. His face was still shadowed, his skin pale, but he no longer bore the marks of his ordeal, and the wound on his neck had disappeared. I took a step forward and brushed his cheek with my fingers. "Only if you are willing to give it," I said gently.

Shuuichi shook his head, sending his hair tumbling about his shoulders for the sunlight to dance along. "No. You've given me so much, and all I've offered in return are lies and secrets." He swallowed, then continued quietly. "I'm tired of hiding it from you."

I closed the distance between us, taking his arm lightly and guiding him to the hammock that hung between the tree and the house. Motioning him to sit beside me on it, I turned to face him and met his wary gaze. My chest tightened at the sadness in his eyes; as difficult as it had been for me, raising a child whose heart was forever closed to me, I couldn't imagine how it had been for Shuuichi, who'd had to hide himself since the moment he drew his first breath. And now, to lower all those masks…

"Shuuichi," I began, then paused and corrected myself. "Kurama."

His breath caught for a moment, his eyes wide, and then he exhaled almost sobbingly, the tension etching his features draining away as he lowered his gaze to the ground. "I – I never thought I'd hear you say that," he whispered. "Thank you."

He recovered quickly, smoothing the emotions from his face with one quick glance at me. I sensed this was Kurama I was facing now, the Kurama who had transcended from the other world to become Shuuichi, the ningen who was my son. And with his arrival, my confidence faltered; I was once again entering that world where light could kill and monsters were real and a mother's love meant nothing.

And then, Shuuichi wrapped my hand in his, and all was right again.

"I'm still Shuuichi, no matter which name you call me by," he reassured me quietly. "Part of me is human now." He paused, then smiled distractedly, his eyes focused on some distant memory. "The best part." Glancing down at me again, he continued. "But the other part…" He paused again to take a breath. "I was a demon, a spirit fox. I was Youko Kurama."

I blinked. "Youko Kurama? The demon who had a mountain named after him?" He smiled wryly. "And the mountain named Hiei?" He smiled again.

"I was fairly powerful," he said. "And it was that power that led me to grow arrogant and careless. A hunter caught me one day and mortally wounded me."

"You mean… you died?" I asked in disbelief. "But-"

"But, being a fox, I was not willing to be confined to the spirit world so soon, and so I crossed to the human world to preserve my freedom." He leaned back and let his gaze wander to the shadowy tree limbs above us. "I entered the body of your unborn child and became your son."

My hand went instinctively to cover my stomach, and Shuuichi's eyes followed it, pained. "You-"

"No," he said quickly, sitting up again. "I did not destroy your child's soul. I… merged with it, in a way. I was too weak to destroy it."

But would you have? I thought quietly. _Would Kurama have?_ I knew nothing about this demon who had become my son, save for his name. And what good was a name, when it could be changed so easily?

"I had planned to return to my world in ten years, once my power had returned," he continued. "But… but you fell ill." He turned to give me a helpless look. "I couldn't leave you."

"Why?" I whispered. "Why me? Of all the human women, why choose me?"

Afraid of his answer, of hearing that it was mere chance, I looked away, regretting the question. But he reached for my hand and offered me a tentative smile. "Even a demon as old as I was remembers his mother's touch, and some part of me sensed the love within you. Your love was what drew me to you, and what kept me here." His smile turned wry. "It's not easy chaining down a fox, especially a thief."

"A thief?" I exclaimed.

Shuuichi nodded, grinning. "I was notorious in my world for my prowess at thievery and, ah, other things." A flush of crimson colored his cheeks as he lowered his eyes sheepishly. "That's how I became partners with Hiei. The former, I mean," he added hastily.

"Hiei?" I asked. "He was a thief, also?"

Grinning bitterly, Shuuichi shook his head. "No, he sought me out in hopes that I'd aid him in a venture his was planning. He wanted to steal the three sacred artifacts of the spirit world. Quite an daunting task for him, which was why he needed me."

"Why did Hiei want to steal them?" I asked, remembering the third eye and the tattoo on the boy I thought I knew so well, on the boy my son was in love with, and once again regretting my question.

Shuuichi frowned, his gaze lost in the shadows above us once more. "In order to take revenge for something that happened long ago," he replied. Sensing the darkness that eclipsed this particular memory, I didn't question him. He continued slowly, choosing his words carefully. "I agreed on one condition; I was to receive the Mirror of Utter Dark. It has the power to grant a wish, at the cost of your life." He met my gaze again, this time fiercely. "I was willing to do anything to see you happy again."

"Shuuichi," I murmured, uncertain. "I, I don't understand."

"You were dying," he said hoarsely. "And I was powerless to help you. The Mirror was my last hope."

"So when I was…" I squeezed his hand, then brought mine up to brush his cheek, wondering why I had ever doubted him. "You were willing to die again for me."

He nodded, then began again, finding something interesting to study in the garden. "But Yusuke intervened, and I was left alive to accept my punishment." I watched him strain against the emotions threatening to spill over, and thanked whatever gods were listening for bringing him to me. To have someone care so much for you, human or not…

The wind trailed invisible fingers through his hair, sending crimson strands flying across his face. He brushed them aside impatiently and glanced up somewhat derisively. "Hiei and I were forced to join him and Kuwabara as spirit detectives, servants of the ruler of spirit world," he continued. "One of our assignments," he frowned at the word, "was to compete in a tournament for apparitions. Our rivals were the demon Toguro and his team; Karasu was one of them, the one I faced in the final round. I killed him, but barely escaped with my life."

A shudder passed through him as a memory flashed across his eyes, the violet flecks in them growing larger and seeming to take on a light of their own. "He returned to carry out the threat he wasn't able to fulfill in life." He shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the memory of the demon, and glanced up at me again. "And the rest you saw."

I blinked as he gazed over at me, realizing that he expected me to reply. "I-" I met his icy green eyes, saw the ghost of the wound on his neck, the gem that glittered darkly just below it. And the understanding crashed over me that this wasn't some story, that this was reality. My son had been a demon – still was a demon – and that other world I'd been so afraid of was overlapping mine, mixing and intertwining until I couldn't tell one from the other. I had been safe in my ignorance, but that ignorance was gone, dissipating with each breath my son took.

Smiling gently, he reached through the curtain of his hair to pull out a tiny seed. Cradled in the palm of his hand, it began to grow, slowly at first, then rapidly. Green sprouted from the brown, elongated, branched out, then finally blossomed into a brilliant scarlet. It was a rose, full and perfect and vibrant with life. And as Shuuichi placed it in my hand, I realized that it still hummed with energy, his energy, the energy of a demon – and that of a human.

I gasped. "Shuuichi-"

But he'd already disappeared into the house, and all that was left of his confession was the rose in my hand.

I dropped back onto the hammock, staring up at the dark leaves of the tree above me, drinking in the familiar sounds of life around me. A shadow shifted among the branches, then disappeared in a quiet rush of air. I squinted up at where it had been for a moment, then sighed.

So many questions left unanswered, Shuuichi. I closed my eyes, feeling the cool breeze and letting the hammock rock me gently. _But it's a start. After so many years of secrets, it's a start._

I smiled and twirled the rose in my hand.

-owari-

A/N: Wow. Thank you all for the reviews last chapter. I didn't know so many of you cared… sniff... I can't believe I hit fifty reviews. Fifty! I never thought I'd make it this far. Thank you all so much! This definitely won't be my last fic, and I have a few others you can read if you liked this. Hopefully my next fic will be out soon.

Thanks again for staying with me through this! Sayonara!


End file.
